Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Cat Food

My mom has been gone a lot lately. I don't like it when she leaves. None of us dogs do. Neither does Martha, the boy cat. I don't know why we have to say "the boy cat" after his name. His name is Martha and he is a boy ..... so, what is the big deal?

When my mom plans a trip she tries to think ahead. She always makes sure us dogs have plenty of food and she even leaves instructions for our feedings. I saw her write it all down and tape it to the counter in the store. She tapes lots and lots of notes there for our dad to read. He doesn't. She calls every day and tells him what to do, though. She even leaves food for him to eat.

This time when she left, she forgot to stock up on cat food. She even mentioned that and then she said she thought she would return before Martha (the boy cat) would run completely out. I suppose she forgot to factor in how much Toni Louise and I would eat if we were lucky enough to gain entrance to the store. It is pretty easy to slip past our dad. He doesn't pay close attention. We can be out there and eat to our hearts content ..... or until we throw up and he is blissfully unaware. He won't even notice the pee puddle or the up-chuck when he finally realizes we are in there because we have barked and cried to be let back into the house.

My mom finds it all, though. It is like she is some kind of all-knowing being. I swear she even knows when we are thinking about doing things. But, that is another story. This story is about cat food. Or the lack of cat food. Martha ran out of food while my mom was gone.

Funny thing is that Martha will eat dog food. He likes to taste our food, just like we like to taste his. But he wants his own food. My mom felt bad that he ran out of food and wondered why, since she knew he should have had enough to last. She looked at me and at Toni Louise (sometimes my mom just calls her TL for short) and asked us if we have gotten into any trouble while she was away. She warned us that she would know if we lied. She had already found some evidence of throw-up of undigested cat food on the floor behind her desk, there will be more about that later.

Yesterday, while she was painting a fence, she found a tiny mouse laying in the tall grass. It was so tiny, that at first she thought it was a bird feather. She scooped him up with a shovel and placed him carefully on her golf cart.

His eyes weren't even open yet. She told our Dad that she had toyed with the idea of raising him and naming him Stuart. For some reason she thought this was really funny. Our dad said that she should just smash his tiny head with the shovel and be done with him. I can only assume that he is not a fan of mice and I am certainly happy that I am not a mouse.

Instead she decided to offer this mouse to Martha, as a tiny appetizer. Sounds quite reasonable to me. I would rather enjoy a good game of cat and mouse myself ........ but I would draw the line at actually eating the creature. Better offerings await me in my dish inside.

Martha (the boy cat) was not all that impressed with this tiny mouse. It squeaked a little and he looked at it and poked at it with his paw, but he never really engaged in play. Didn't eat him either. My mom was a little put out that Martha (the boy cat) was so picky and suggested that maybe he would prefer it if she had just scooped up the cat food us dogs threw up and put it in his dish!

Friday, September 12, 2014

I Did A Bad, Bad Thing

I did a bad thing. I didn't mean to. I was just excited. Now my mom is in a really bad mood.

It was going to be such a good day. It isn't hot outside. There is a chill in the air and I find it quite invigorating. I got out of the bed and waited patiently for her to get up. Okay, maybe I wasn't so patient, I will admit that I did keep jumping into the air to get her attention. Then when she put her hand down to pet me, maybe I did nip at her fingers. But, she likes that, she giggles when I do that.

She got up and all of us dogs followed her to the back door. I ran like the wind. The grass was still wet and tiny droplets would spray into the air as I circled my yard. Round and round I ran, Toni Louise chasing me. Wall-E stayed in bed with his Papa. Oscar just stared into the distance. I suppose I am so fast that he can't see me!

Oscar went inside with our mom. He likes to eat before us other dogs eat.  After my morning run, I sat at the carport window waiting for Martha, the boy cat, to jump through. This is my morning ritual. When Martha comes through that window I tackle him to the ground. We roll around awhile until I pin him down with my jaws around his throat. I would never hurt him!! He is my playmate. He bites me gently, and after our ritual we go in.

Martha likes to play a game with my mom. He gets between her feet and rubs himself against her ankles as she walks. Sometimes she will let him do it for a long time ...... if she has already had her coffee. But most of the time she will walk him  to his food dish and be done with this game of his. This morning was one of those days. She made her coffee and settled into her favorite chair with her lap top. She always turns on the TV, too. She likes the Today Show.

And ..... this is when it happened. I wanted her to pick me up. I like to rest after all my morning activities and let my food digest. There is a spot next to her leg that I wedge into and catch a little nap. My favorite spot to be when she is in her chair. I made a different approach to her today. I usually come to my side of the chair and put my feet on the seat to be lifted into her arms. Then we share some smoochies and she settles me next to her.

Today, I was on the other side of her chair and I came up between her legs and sort of butted my head on her laptop. She asked me what I was doing, but I kept at it, waiting for her to pick me up. She sighed and shifter computer to one side. When she picked me up, I was tangled in the computer cords and she very nearly strangled me! She pulled the one cord over my head and settled me down next to her.

Well, where are my smoochies? I climbed on top of her lap top to reach her face and when I did the cords grabbed her coffee cup, knocking it over! She jumped straight up with her computer, tipping it over, with absolutely no regards about ME!

The hot coffee hit the computer and mostly my mom. After she got all the coffee off her computer, she pulled her sweatpants off really fast. I felt sort of bad, then. I got down all by myself and went into Toni Louise's cave and hid. That was bad. I deprived my mom of her first cup of coffee and I burned her leg. Thank goodness I didn't destroy her computer!

This is not a good way to start the day. I think I will stay out of her way for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

My Mom Is Home!

My mom is home! I don't like these trips she has been taking. Neither does Toni Louise. She doesn't even want to talk about it, as you can see.

This time when my mom left she left another dog here! Well, she didn't, but Adrienne did. Adrienne is my mom's human daughter. She has a dog named Max and he stayed here with all of us dogs and my dad.

Max tried to tell me he knew more about this house than I did. He was all uppity, too. He even slept right next to my dad!! That is Wall-E's spot. Wall-E likes to sleep with his boy when he is here. But, Wall-E's boy went with my mom on this trip. Wall-E was so upset that he refused to even get in the bed. He slept in the living room, waiting for his boy to come back.

Oscar didn't care so much, but I didn't like this whole situation. I missed my mom and I slept on her pillow. It smelled like her. I missed her so much.

Toni Louise was mad, let me tell you. She slept in her cave. She wouldn't even come to the bed when our dad called her. I think she missed my Mom, too. But, not as much as me!

Friday, August 15, 2014

A Boy Is Coming!

My mom has been cleaning the house. Wall-E is very excited, he keeps talking about his boy. "My boy is coming! I can't wait to see him." I personally do not want a boy, I am quite content with my person being a lady .... I was going to say old lady, but she is helping me type this, you know.

She has the spare bedroom all ready and she has been dusting things like fan blades and the top of the doorways. Oscar says she does this when company is coming. He also warned that he was pretty sure that us dogs would be getting a bath! I don't mind a bath too much, but Wall-E is opposed to this. Toni Louise is not a fan of a bath either.

Oscar was first. Toni Louise barked at him the entire time he was being washed and rinsed. My mom toweled him and put him down. All of us dogs sniffed him as he shook all over. He ran and ran in circles and before he knew what happened, Wall-E was scooped up and in the water! Toni Louise hid as far back in her cave as she could.

My mom built a special table to go next to her chair. It is exactly as tall as the chair arm as deep as the chair. When she put it in place, she talked about adding a shelf to store things on. Toni Louise dragged her pillow inside and it became her cave. She is very afraid of thunderstorms and hides in there when she hears them. All of us dogs can fit in there with her. She appreciates my presence during a storm.

I was next and I have to tell you ...... I loved it! My mom put me in nice warm water while she sprayed warm water all over me. Then she grabbed the doggie shampoo ....... no, this is not dog shampoo! The bottle is huge and it says "Horse and Mane"! I am no horse!! Mom assured me that the shampoo was good for dogs, as well as horses. She has even used it on her hair! I have to admit that it has a lovely clean smell and my coat is soft and shiny. My mom knows what is good for us dogs.

Toni Louise refused to come out of her cave. She was quite confident that Mom could not reach her. And she was right! Mom walked away and we all thought that Toni Louise had won. Next thing we knew Mom had treats for us ..... and it wasn't even treat time! She talked to us as she gave us the treats and told us that we were good babies. Oscar made a snort as he took his treat, he always does. Wall-E waited patiently, standing on his back legs. then it was my turn. I get so excited that I sometimes bite Mom's fingers, so she always tells me to "take it nice" and I do.

While all this was happening, Toni Louise was jumping around, waiting for her treat and my mom grabbed her! Toni did not get a treat!! Instead she got a bath. She tried to run and she even started to bite! Mom took her snout in her hand and scolded her while she poured water on her. She was still not happy, but she let Mom bathe her and rinse her. Then Mom put a big towel on herself and picked Toni Louise up and held her and spoke softly in her. We couldn't hear what she said, but Toni hid her face on Mom's shoulder. I think she was ashamed of her own behavior. I think she might have cried!

Anyway we are all clean and ready for this boy of Wall-E's to get here. I hear tell that he is also bring another dog. Max is his name. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am sure I will be posting about it, though.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Smitten With Molly

Meet Molly. Molly is a kamp-dog. I met her in my mom's store. Her person was holding her, just like my mom holds me. I sniffed her and I sniffed her again. I think I like her!

Molly has curly hair, I have straight hair. Her hair was very soft and she smelled good! She sniffed me, too. But, I don't think she liked me as much as I liked her ...... can you believe that?

When I came back in my house the others crowded round me and sniffed me. They could smell Molly on me and started asking all sorts of questions. Wall-E wanted to know what she looked like and Toni Louise wanted to know if she liked me. Oscar just sniffed, then went back to his great big bed on the floor.

I told them that she is smaller than me! Toni Louise said she must be the tiniest dog in the world, then, because I am a tiny little shrimp! I tackled her then, and showed her that small dogs can be a force to be reckoned with! We rolled around a bit until I had her neck in my mouth. She took her long, long legs and pushed me off and went to her favorite place to take a nap.

Wall-E and I continued to talk about girl dogs. Wall-E suggested that Molly might be playing hard to get, that she might like me, too. I asked him if he had ever had a girlfriend-dog. He admitted that he had not, but reminded me that Oscar had. Oscar had a wife-dog.

Her name was Emmy and she died before my time. Wall-E told me that sometimes she would get mad at Oscar and even bite him! I am not sure I want a girlfriend-dog ...... Our mom heard us talking. She still misses Emmy. She told me that I possessed Emmy's sweet temperament.

Once, right after I came to live here, she lifted me up to her face and looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Emmy, are you in there?" I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I stared back at her and assured her that the only dog in my head was me, Cujo. Wall-E told me later that she had done the same thing to him. Not about Emmy, since she was still alive, but another dog called Sarge. He thought she was a little wacky, too. He took it as a compliment, though, because Sarge is a legend around here. Mom said he was the absolute best dog ever and it meant that he was just like Sarge.

So, I must be just like Emmy. But ... I am a boy dog and she was  girl dog. This is very confusing. All I know is that I like that dog called Molly and I am going to make her like me!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Life Is Good!

I am not in trouble any more. My mom is back to giving me lots of smoochies. That makes me happy!

You see Oscar and Martha, the boy cat? They are napping. Oscar naps a lot. Martha tends to sleep all day and stay out all night.

This morning all of us dogs went out together. Oscar and Wall-E went back in as soon as they heard my mom putting the food out. I was a little hungry, but I was waiting for Martha to come into the back yard. It is my daily routine to be the very first one to greet him as he climbs the fence.

I like to pounce on his back and we roll around in the grass for awhile. I growl and bite his neck and he hisses and spits at me. It is great fun, helps me work up a good appetite.

Now, sometimes, he will bring us dogs small gifts. Martha is a hunter, you see. He is quite adept at slaying rodents. He has brought mice to us that are not quite dead. He says it will me develop my neck breaking skills. Once he brought a squirrel's back legs, complete with the long tail. Toni Louise and I had a marvelous time playing tug of war with that!

Our mom does not appreciate these gifts and has spoken quite sternly to Martha about this. He just stares at her, totally unconcerned, while she lectures him. Sometimes he will even groom himself as she speaks. She does not like this. He once left the entrails and carcass of a rabbit in her side yard and she did not see it until she had mowed over it. She was not happy, let me tell you!

Well, today, he brought us dogs the head of a baby rabbit. Toni Louise and I were kicking it around like a ball and then chasing each other while we carried it in our mouths. Mom called our names to come in ...... "Cujo, coochie coochie Cujoooo!", "Toni Loooouise, Weezie girl!" "Mommy has treats!"

I threw that rabbit down and ran lickity split to the back door, Toni Louise, too, but she circled back and grabbed the dead rabbit head and came running up. "Wait, what do you have in your mouth? Gahhhh! Spit, spit right now!" She thumped Toni Louise's head and the tiny head fell from her mouth.

"Marthaaaaaa! Mr. Martha, what have you done?" "You are a bad, bad boy!" That was music to my ears. If Martha, the boy cat is in trouble, then she will forget about my unfortunate little biting incident. What a great turn of events. I heard my mom telling people that the tiny rabbit eye was staring at her as she picked it up with a dog poopie bag to dispose of it.

I may have lost a wonderful new toy, but I am back in my mom's good graces! Life is good!

Friday, August 8, 2014



Cujo here. It has been a long time since my mom let me post! I have to tell you ....... I did a bad thing! I don't know what came over me!
It happened like this ........ all of us dogs were having a nice afternoon nap. My mom came into the house and went over the gate to the where the bathroom and bedrooms are. We all looked at each other ....... could it be time for bed? Is she closing the store? We were kind of excited, just thinking about it.
Lately she has been having headaches and will come in and take a nice little nap. When this happens, she always picks me up and takes me to bed with her. Oscar, too. Wall-E and Toni Louise won't be still. She says they are nervous and will keep her awake. Not me and Oscar, though. We know the value of a good snooze.
But, my mom just went into the bathroom. Wonder why people don't pee outside? More to the point, why do they wear clothes? But, don't get me started on that ........ she has tried to dress me. So while mom was in the bathroom, the door chimed. That meant someone was in the store. Toni Louise rushed to the security monitor to have a look and there was a lady standing at the counter. She was holding a little person.
I don't know if I have shared with you my absolute disdain for these little people. They don't seem to know their own strength, and if they catch a small dog such as myself ....... well, they could squeeze the life right out of me. I am not sure just how I know this, but I do know it with every fiber of my being.
We all set about barking out a warning just in case our mom did not hear the chime. She did and she told us all to stop with our silliness. Oscar was even barking and he does not usually join us unless he thinks there might be a treat involved. Wall-E and I were so wound up, that we ignored Mom when she told us to stay in and we ran out into the store.
Wall-e is all bark and no bite, that is what Mom said. He likes to meet people and he ran around the counter to sniff the lady holding the small person. I do not usually do this. I will take a peek, then run back to hide behind my mom. When we rounded the counter we discovered yet another small person holding the lady's leg. I have no idea what came over me, but I was suddenly very brave.
I heard my mom tell the lady not to worry, that us dogs did not bite. I found that remark to be offensive! Like I could not defend myself. So, while Wall-E was being carried back into the house, I sort of bit the lady's leg.
I am so ashamed! My mom was not pleased with me at all. I was in big trouble and I knew it. I crawled under her desk, where I knew she could not reach me. She finished with the lady and kept apologizing for me. After the lady left, she crawled under the desk and got me. She told me how disappointed she was in my behavior. No kisses to my head, no treats. I was told to go think about what I had done.
I have thought and thought. I still don't know why I did it. I didn't bite her all that hard. There wasn't even any blood. The lady said "ouch", but both those little boys with her started crying like I had bitten them. To be honest, I was trying for the little boy standing there, he was just too fast. See what I mean? These small people are fast and sneaky. You never know what they might do.
That is why I have not been in my mom's lap, writing. I have been punished rather severely, don't you think?